The Greatest Love of All…

This is The Greatest Love Story I’ve seen on film in a long time.

For those of you in the UK who remember Simon Bates’ Our Tune, you could play this soundtrack to enhance the mood I’m going for! For the other 98.5% of you, excuse my digression: this is what I’m on about.

It’s the 1973 in Toronto. Teenager Steve Kudlow (his friends call him ‘Lips’) is a fan of Heavy Metal and a budding guitarist & singer. He walks past a house and hears someone giving a drumkit a pretty serious working over. He is drawn to the sound, and meets Robb, another Metal fan. They form a band together: they call themselves Anvil, and for a while in the 1980s they get big, really big. They tour the world with Bon Jovi, Scorpions and Slayer. They are living the dream.

Except that while those other bands sold gazillions of records, Anvil went home to Toronto. Twenty-five years later Steve delivers meals for a schools catering supplies company, Robb works in construction, and Anvil play gigs in their local bar to a handful of fans. But Steve and Robb never gave up on their dream, their love for metal, and their love for each other.

Anvil! the Story of Anvil is moving, funny, inspiring and often almost heartbreaking. It documents around a year in the life of the band in 2007. During the film they embark on a European Tour promoted by a manager who is more of a fan than actually having any experience or skills in actually managing a tour; they attend festivals and gigs where they play the graveyard slots in front of a handful of people, and they try to recreate past glories by recording a new album in England, with Lips remortgaging his family home to raise the funds.

At almost every turn I despaired of their decision-making, but almost simultaneously marvelled at their persistence and optimism. I wanted to sit them down and give them a stern talking-to, a reality check, but in fact they’re extraordinarily self-aware. Instead I found myself smiling, admiring their positivity despite all the pitfalls and disappointments.

Despite being in his 50s, Lips dresses, talks and walks like a teenager, racing up to his idols from decades before at obscure European Metal festivals, bounding into meetings with A&R men with barely even the beginnings of a thought-through pitch. His presentations don’t go very far beyond ‘please listen to this. We think it rocks. We hope you do too.’ He borrows money from his family to record a new album (the band’s 13^th) in England at vast expense without any idea of whether it will sell.

At times the parallels with Spinal Tap seem almost deliberate: the drummer really is called Robb Reiner and there really is an amp that turns up to 11! But the searing honesty and openness from everyone concerned makes this a tremendously intimate portrait of some wonderful characters.

The music is almost incidental; it certainly shouldn’t discourage anyone from watching this brilliant film. There’s more humanity in the Robb & Lips’ blazing rows and heartfelt reconciliations than in any Hollywood rom-com.

Read Full Post »

May contain traces…

My younger daughter has a nut allergy. In clinical terms it’s not severe, but that doesn’t mean it’s not alarming and sometimes difficult. 2 years ago, when she wasn’t yet 3 years old, we gave her a biscuit containing chunks of Brazil nut. We hadn’t consciously thought about it; she had eaten peanut butter once before (and not liked it), but it hadn’t affected her in any other way. She suffers from eczema (a genetic inheritance from me), and some foods do cause it to flare up, but nothing like this.

When it happened we were fortunate that we were able to get her to the local GP surgery within a few minutes, and get her anti-histamine and steroids. She came out in a vivid red flush over her throat, face, neck and torso, including angry raised hives. Her airways weren’t affected, and by the next morning she was mostly recovered, although it took a couple of weeks for her eczema to return ‘to normal’.

From that day on, our life changed: we scrutinise food labelling; we ask bakeries and restaurants about their policies and ingredients. Some food brands are very good while others seem to abdicate responsibility. There might be a long list of products buried within a website, or (like Walls/Unilever) they seem to ignore the presence of allergies and hope that no one complains (or is taken ill).

Only a few weeks after Ella’s initial (and thankfully only) reaction, we went on a month-long trip around France. It’s a stereotype with some justification that France is a barren place for vegetarians, but our early fears were utterly unfounded. Boulangers were understanding and sympathetic, food labelling seemed good, and many restaurateurs were terrific. One chef-patron in St Emilion even came out of the kitchen and asked her in English what she would like, and what he could make for her off-menu.

UK restaurants have been less consistent. Wagamama and Nando’s are good. They have comprehensive booklets that are available to staff and customers, so you can check the recipes, ingredients and preparation methods. On the other hand, Pizza Express were rubbish, so we don’t eat there any longer, just as we no longer buy Walls icecreams or many Cadbury’s chocolate bars. It’s easy to vote with our feet when Ella’s health is the issue.

Icecream and Easter Eggs are by far the toughest products to find that are both suitable and properly-labelled, but we’ve been delighted that Winstones Ice Cream and Kinnerton Chocolate are exceptions proving the general rule. The other main area for concern relates to ‘Other Places’ or ‘Other People’, especially birthday parties. We usually provide a supply of ‘alternative’ biscuits or treats. Commercially-made cakes are almost never any good, and so many chocolate brands ‘may contain traces of nuts’ that even home-made chocolate cakes are a non-starter.

In short, we take responsibility. We appreciate all the help and understanding of her Playgroup leaders, and indeed she starts school next month, and we’re providing them with full precautions and instructions, including specific things to avoid. We do expect the school to ensure she’s not put at risk, but there’s only so much they can do.

Sorry to be churlish, but when well-meaning friends say things like “Oh I’m sure this would be OK” it really gets on my nerves. How sure are you, exactly? What understanding do you have of Eleanor’s condition? Have you actually checked all the food labelling and ingredients? Please don’t take offence if I choose not to offer Eleanor something if I don’t have complete confidence. Please let me take the decision over what’s OK.

Ella has so far showed herself to be mature way beyond her age (she’s still only 4), being remarkably proactive in checking if foods are ‘alright for her’ and at being swift to ask for alternatives (lollies instead of icecream, jelly babies instead of chocolate). On occasions when there is no alternative, she’s usually pretty pragmatic, much better than other children. She takes responsibility for herself, and it often winds me up when others don’t do the same.

We’re going to Spain next week and are busily swotting up on the relevant vocabulary. How do I say ‘groundnut oil’ in Spanish…?

Read Full Post »

Oh, what a show…

For great family entertainment, old-school, I don’t think you can do much better than Gifford’s Circus. We first encountered them in a very muddy field near my parents’ house in Cirencester a couple of years ago. They are fast becoming a staple of the West Country summer, touring around Gloucestershire and Wiltshire. This year they will have performed around 80 dates in 12 venues from Hay-on-Wye to Tackley.

I read the very entertaining  blog by  ‘Slouching Towards Thatcham’ yesterday – recounting an experiencesat a different circus last weekend. Sadly, that circus had a very small audience. I’m not at all surprised and extremely delighted to report that Gifford’s was sold out on Saturday afternoon, and by all accounts tickets are very hard to come by for the entire tour. It has become a word of mouth phenomenon in our part of the world. I definitely want to go again next year…

Nell and Toti Gifford started the whole affair 10 years ago, and indeed it seems to be Nell’s dream, supported at least in part by her husband’s landscaping business. It’s genuinely entertaining with plenty of laugh-out loud physical comedy and jaw-dropping physical performance. The Stage seems to agree with me, from its review in May…

Such is the creativity and passion poured into this production it is at first bewildering. Inside, the tiny white tent is gorgeously decorated, Lindsay Pugh’s exquisite outfits would make any Hollywood film costumier weep, and while most UK touring circuses have abandoned live music, Giffords has an exceptional 12-piece ensemble.

Nell scouts around the troupes of Europe to select her acts, and the full show credits 40 in the cast and crew, plus countless behind-the-scenes teams.  Her eye for talent and understanding of what will entertain her audience is sharp. From the moment we crammed into the banked bench seating inside the Big Top, the cast were on show. Gabor Vosteen first appeared as a friendly, lanky man engaging nicely with the children in the front rows. Then he played the piano to accompany a rendition of Happy Birthday to three members of the audience.

But when his act finally started, we were in the palm of his hand. He started off with physical comedy and ‘speed’ recorder playing. Then he played the recorder through his nose. Then he played two recorders in harmony through his nostrils. Then he played 5 recorders at once. All interspersed with terrific physical comedy and perfect timing.

Sarah Schwarz was an amazing presence on the tightrope wire, sliding effortlessly into splits along the wire in a way that elicited a loud “NO WAY!” from my 8 year-old daughter, and winces from her mother. There were more exclamations when He Yuan rode a unicycle on a massive ball and when Bibi and Bichu juggled hats and clubs with amazing dexterity.

Olivier Taquin is a tremendous mime act, performing as a wooden marionette. His ability was astonishing. I swear I watched his eyes for 3 or 4 minutes without seeing him blink. I asked my younger daughter repeatedly if she thought he was real or a puppet, and she remained convinced he wasn’t a real person. He danced with a lady from the audience and had us rolling in the aisles with the brilliance of his timing.

But for me the highlight of Gifford’s Circus is the live band. There are 12 musicians in this year’s show, and they’re all fantastic. The sax section all played banjos as well, the backing singer girls also all played trumpet or flugel horn, and there was stunning scat singing and inventive percussion playing throughout. Everyone plays, everyone sings, everyone dances.

Gifford’s Circus is a brilliant throw-back to wholehearted entertainment without technology or gimmicks: it delivers an incredibly physical, visceral performance. The sheer vitality and energy is infectious and generates a huge emotional response. There must have been nearly 400 people in the tent, and I’m fairly certain everyone left the tent beaming with pleasure and barely noticed the persistent rain outside.

Yes, it’s truly that good.

Read Full Post »

If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?

The NatWest Bank has often sought to distance itself from the other mainstream High Street networks in the UK; not ‘Big’ or smug like Barclays, not, er, um, Black Horsey like Lloyds. It used to be ‘Another Way’, but after that ‘other way’ became a taxpayer-funded bailout for its parent RBS, it appears this has morphed into ‘Helpful Banking’.

Where to start on this…?!

(a) Is that it? NatWest will be ‘helpful’ and that’s why we should choose them?! A previous boss once defined a ‘hygiene factor’ as an airline trying to market itself as ‘having fully-trained pilots’. If ‘helpful’ is as good as you’ve got, what does that say…?

(b) The campaign shows lots of smiley-happy customers enjoying their time with shiney-happy NatWest staff. Since when did we want  our bank to be a friend? Last time I looked, barely anyone was a fan of any of the main banks on Facebook. For all its appalling timing, Barclays’ infamous ‘Big’ campaign  from 10 years ago was at least rooted in an interesting consumer insight; that many people  don’t want their bank to be their friend. They want it to take care of their money, their mortgage, their business. HSBC has more recently taken this on with ‘The World’s Local Bank’, trying to reconcile Global scale with local understanding.

(c) Even if we do want Helpful Banking, are NatWest really the ones to deliver? They’ve been banging on about this for years, and the very existence of this ad slogan suggests they’ve not succeeded yet…

(d) It’s at least something that the new campaigns show NatWest staff pledging to make a difference and give us all Helpful Banking. But scratch the surface, and the promises are massively underwhelming…

We will extend our opening hours in our busiest branches … They’re pledging to open fewer than 40% of their branches on Saturdays. Try getting away with that if you’re any other High Street Retail operation. Welcome to the 1990s…

We aim to serve the majority of our customers within 5 minutes … are they serious?  “We aim” but we might not actually achieve… “the majority of our customers within 5 minutes”; so 49% waiting more than 5 minutes is technically a success?! Has banking service really fallen so far that Helpful Banking means only having to wait more than 5 minutes to pay in a cheque every other time I visit the bank?!

We pledge to stay open for business if we are the last bank in town … so in over 100 locations NatWest are committed to keeping a monopoly business going. That’s reassuring to know (!), very decent of them. Those 100 branches represent barely 6% of their overall network.

We will resolve customer complaints fairly, consistently and promptly…Twice a year we will publish the most common of complaints … OK, now I’m really sold. This is groundbreaking. NatWest will bother to tell me what everyone else is complaining about. No more feelings of isolation and loneliness… that truly is Helpful Banking.

I recently wrote about BHAGs. NatWest has tried to create a campaign and positioning for itself responding to customer demands, to show that it has little in common with those other banks. I’m sure it believes it is being audacious in its openness and explicit customer focus, but the paucity of its imagination simply illustrates it clearly has everything in common with other banks. It puts together a glossy campaign that is paper-thin, whose promises are not Big, definitely not Hairy and certainly not Audacious. Does it not trust its staff to deliver? Are its systems so feeble?

Well, if I believe Justin Basini’s coruscating blog, they might well be right to be so depressingly cautious. All this might seem like a bit of easy target for ridicule, but I take little pleasure in it. I’d love to be able to praise the boldness of their vision and the bravery of their promises. I’m not holding my breath.

Read Full Post »